You are viewing [info]brown_folder's journal

brown_folder's Journal
 
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in brown_folder's LiveJournal:

    Friday, March 17th, 2006
    8:13 pm
    “…little by little they lost their old traditions, the mementos of their past; they gave up their writing, their songs, their poems, their laws in order to learn by rote other doctrines which they did not understand, another morality, another aesthetics different from those inspired by their climate and their manner of thinking…degrading themselves in their own eyes; they became ashamed of what was their own; they began to admire and praise whatever was foreign and incomprehensible; their spirit was dismayed and it surrendered to…this disgust of themselves” – Jose Rizal, Philippine National Hero






    Break the inner cycle.
    Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
    9:57 pm
    Today I feel like the letter A.
    Angry.
    Anxious.
    Aardvark.

    I realized that the difference between regular people and writers is that the writer knows how to explain his complaints ( or praises). Tolerance is just as bad as laziness and both might be used toegether, but its some writers that actually write down in the right way. We all have troubles, some very cliché and very common, but that writer will write about that feeling no matter what people think. The characters I have used are probably not what a I meant that to be. its just been a bad night.
    Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
    9:15 pm
    Culture.Semi-Permeable.

    Why is it that,
    (while searching for
    identity),
    one loses
    Individuality.
    Saturday, January 14th, 2006
    9:59 pm
    gee wilikers
    hah. I completely forgot that I had a livejournal. College has now taken me over. Its all I think and talk about. Damn me. Now that finals are coming up, all I want to do is sleep. The moon is very bright and big today. It amazes me.


    This is missing something...

    The Big 4

    the Generals who were, at the time the powers that controlled,
    (different countries each)
    every weapon, every soldier, every bomb, every act
    that could destroy the world,
    met at the cafe next to the local highschool in the
    nearest small city around them all.

    coffee was ordered and gestrues exchanged,
    these Generals were still happy since it was only the beginning
    of the day and the killing would not begin till later.
    But among them was a common man, sitting in a chair
    next to their table, he was drinking coffee like they
    were too.

    "We must all meet each other on the east" said one,
    decorated with as many stars as the universe, bigger than all
    of the others combined. "I will use everyforce I have to get the job
    done. No person wil be spared, and no expense is too little
    for this victory that I want."

    "Excuse me general," said one of the same title, "But I believe
    that we will win." He stopped to sip his tea and chew
    on some bread, after swollowing it all, he continued his
    strategy, "My techonology would most likley deafeat any infantry
    we approach, and the land will become barren and scorhed"

    a fist was slammed and a chair fell.
    "I may not win the victory I need immediately,"
    said G. Number 3 "but give the Death a couple more years
    to fully infect, to full grow, and you'll be asking me
    for the antidote. So all your power, all your bullets,
    won't stop a plague on both your houses." He laughed
    maniaclly.

    Now all this was happening, when that man
    from the commoners happened to wish to interject. "Excuse
    me great leaders, I apologize for the intrustion, but I could
    not help over hear the tallying of the lives done in this one
    conversation." they all looked at his head, wondering
    if it would fit in the brand new torture chamber they invented.

    that man spoke nothing so that he may let a couple of
    seconds pass, but when he found his intestines and liver and pancreas
    he continued his dialogue with those that could destroy him. "All i am
    saying is this. Don't act as if your higher than mighty,
    God's left hand that sweeps the wicked away. You take what you need
    and control whoever you want, leaving millions of
    souls in the middle to be slaughtered. please just,
    Give war to those who want it. Let the people have peace."

    another sip was taken from a General's cup. "you make an intresting
    character, clearly braver than most. seeing how
    you know what would become of you if we don't like you. We have
    heard your argument, and would just like to ask you to
    sit back down. We do what we want, it doesnt matter how many lives we use.
    as long as you sit back down, wars will continue."

    so the Generals went back to thier discussion, and wondered if
    the tanks came in a new color this year. that man among men
    a Leader to the common, as useless as bloody air,
    sat back down, and just waited for their conversations
    to finish and come true.




    hmmmmm....I don't know. Guess I'll have work on that.
    Ps. can anyone do my income tax? :-D
    Monday, December 5th, 2005
    7:24 pm
    not too shabby of day
    Make that, not too shabby of a week. Even though I got into majorrrr trouble on Saturday, it was all sort of worth it in a way. But today I fixed a part of my ever virus filled computer. I mean, wow, it's going so much faster now.

    AND I was also glad when I got my acceptence letter to Loyola. Whoo. At least thats one less school I have to worry about, they gave me some scholorship money but if I really want to go there I still got to go fof financial aid and grants and/or scholorships and stuff. I think I'd want to go there. I mean, jAnet is telling me how great it is and man, does she make me want to go. I'm almost assuming the plan to get out of chicago might not follow through, but oh well. I have the rest of my life to explore right?......RIGHT?!?!? hah.


    The only down part of the day is that I am sick, like everyone else in Chicago. Gotz ta buy me some of that Tylenol cold. And I thought I was invincible since I got the flu shot. Oh modern medicine, how do ye fail me?
    Monday, November 14th, 2005
    8:18 pm
    And when there's no place left to go look around and a find a whole in the ground. The whole's too small though to fit your head but its exact for your body. This price for freedom is exacted with scars and broken limbs caused by the jagged edges of that whole. I look the left and see my breath. I look to my right and see the night, but my body has already gone out of the room. Pearl Jam is kinda of relaxing. So is The Cure. Well, the Boy's Don't Cry album at least.

    I wonder if it was ever awkward to be in the middle. To find common ground on the basis of belief seems pretty awkward to me. If I was on a field, it would be flowers and trees seperated right down the middle. I came from the slowers and their ability to grow, but an extra hormone gave me stornger roots. (Confidence gave me a longer nose). Long enough to smell the trees on the other side. These trees that tower over the rest of us and become more knowing in the chemicals, in the colors, in the ability to live longer than the petals around our necks. I have no idea where I'm trying to get with this symbolism but yes. There is a different from flowers and trees and how could you be a flower when know nothing abut being beautiful or ugly. Commonality takes away from original thought but I think it sometimes helps.
    Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
    5:29 pm
    I am at the end of my wits. For like the sixth time this month. I really thought I was over it. But I guess I'm more upset then I thought. A lot more. Heh, my teacher just told me today to not use a lot. I'm done. I would want to say I need someone to talk to but I really am to lazy or angry to divulge any information or "feeling". Not because of this, but because of that. Three cheers for being vague.
    Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
    5:32 am
    Monday, October 3rd, 2005
    9:39 pm
    And these involuntary spasms keep me up at night. Spasm of the eye, shifts my sight to a longer annoyance. Distraction was the word I was looking for. I just don't get it anymore. I don't understand how a life more prosperous potentially could end up with the option of death for 7,000 dollars. These roads they wind and diverge as Frost said but I turned around and went the other way. Diverge in yellow wood my ass. He was walking with a stick that he used to step on flowers and the trees that made that yellow wood and hence, would intentionally point him the wrong direction to seek revenge on him. Am I still talking about Frost? These wounds, I say, these wounds, I charge them to heal and yet they grow as canyons grow with crimson waters that refine the edges. Canyons don't fill up. Unless ofcourse you fill them with trash. I just don't get it anymore. A useless word on my behalf will not lead me into a life I want. This is the point of shatterring. The tone should be different now, but the mood should be brighter. Alas poor young naves with the games they play, Alas poor little ones with the penny's they save. They earn to relinquish and get whatever they want to obtain. My kingdom for a simpler mind frame. O captain My captain, let me take the life vest away from you, cause you won't need it in the deep blue. The sink is shipping, yes I know what I said, but the sink is leaving, along with the dishes you've bent. Which would make them bowls ofcourse. But thats besides the fact. In-flowing articles of articulation. You cannot haer me but I'm screaming. You cannot see me but I'm leaving. Mentally the challege has not been complex, but the fact that I'm still awake surprises my own hands. I just don'g get it anymore, whatever importance I've learned is loss through the yaers turned. REad me and you won't understand, you can't ask the left whats going on with the right hand. Co-operation of enemies can never, be, so says the law, so says finality.
    Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
    9:44 pm
    Portrait of Madness


    Hello love. I've read about you before.
    In the old style of what I am doing now.
    Was a greater image back then. Because
    they knew how to command it. Talking about
    words that could never describe,
    scent that could never be captured.
    A face that not only launched a thousand ships
    but sunk a myriad of hearts. Back then.
    Back then when grace was still loyal.
    When the mere sense of rejection became
    another set of longings. A stanza here.
    A kiss there. But all from a mysterious source.
    A mysterious girl that was never met, only read.
    A goddess/woman for lack of a better sense.

    Lips do part, and souls do touch.
    And you were in a frame cause of your
    orginality. You. The woman of Petrach.
    The loves of Shakespeare. The works of
    Spencer. The heart of all laurets.
    The reason for spelling mistakes. And
    back to me again in the present. Like
    the rest, I will stay back and watch
    and write and muse and baffled
    and stunned be. And like them, I will lose
    and be slow. But you will go on,
    as long as love can know to get away.




    ps. I NEED TO EDIT THAT SHIT
    Sunday, September 25th, 2005
    6:47 am
    TO never think is to never worry. To worry is to have concern for something. Hence, to never think, to never have concern for something. I don't know about you but that sounds great. I mean, the enless possibilites of freetime. The use of that time to take up a hobby; to focus on the self thats needed so much attention for so long. But who can really get back with that. Even animals feel the need to care for the pack, their young, for the food that keeps them alive. To think leaves me in a state of exusuberence. Just the possibliity of being able to think one thought of the millions that are literally being sent all over the graveyard inside your head. The zombies that walk around and eventually come out to the things that you say.



    Tipsey. I don't know what I've said.
    But, its only the morning after
    and you will be reminded of it later.
    But for now you have to deal with
    the perverbial hyperbole that is your
    made up life. I was a hero today,
    a villian yesterday, a bystander the
    day before that, and I will be an
    inanimate object tomorrow. Next week
    i'll try to become air. So I can
    float into the paces of these nonsenses.
    Friday, September 16th, 2005
    11:28 pm
    thats just messed up
    Of all the people I've met in my entire life, I didn't know that a person can be so shallow. To believe that every "hott girl" met on the street is easily overshadowed by another "hott-er girl". That a person might actually talk freely about how improportianate the face is to the chest, the feet are to the hands, how the breasts are to the neck. Funny how they don't see their misplacement from their heart and their head.

    To make judgements on how they act towards another person by their appearences. I'm pretty sure I'll meet those who are much worse, but I was just shocked on how blatant and not-caring this person was acting. How they didn't see anything wrong at all with what they were saying or how they were acting towards other creatures who have a scale of 1-10 plastered on their forehead. I just thought it was a shame. Not for him though, but for me. I just felt shameful that I too was (maybe still am) like that in a way. The funny thing is that these kinds of people seem to live out these ways till they die, not knowing how beautiful a person actually is. How beatiful the faces on the street are. How ugly their behavior is.

    Its all old revalations just being told once again by an always learning youth. Sometimes it takes the actions of others to question yourself and of who you are. And to instill fear in yourself in the possibility of what you might become.
    Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
    6:37 pm
    a piece of my head
    Music-

    Artist: Smashing Pumpkins
    Album: The entire ADORE cd


    I know no one really reads this, but who has time to make my page pretty? Hah. But anyways.

    ::thoughts to myself that have to be expressed publically::


    Okay. First off. My whole mood is in the Adore cd by the Smashing Pumpkins. If you (you with no particular name) has not heard it yet, please try and get a chance too. Its kinda of a happy/sad album. I don't know if the feelings its making me have is because I've had them before or it's because of the album. Stupid music.

    Really disliking the whole college process right now. I mean, its expected I would, but I hate the people who talk about it constantly. I guess I'm just jealous that they can say they want to go to a particular college and not care about the money. And I'm really disling the kids joining all these extra-curriculers to make their resume look good. Kids who start writing when its convienant. Kids who volunteer to show that they volunteer. I don't write because of college, I could care less. I really feel like I can't fullfill my "dreams" cause of the money involved. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. But ahh, maybe I'm just over stressing the situation.


    And school is so boring. Nothing new ever comes up. I don't have the same closeness that I kind of got familar with over the summer.

    ::rant over::



    Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    A. A woodchuck would chuck all the wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
    Saturday, September 10th, 2005
    9:54 pm
    Counting backwards with a punctured lung with a thought in her mind. She just got finished being raped but she said she was fine. You didn't expect that in the beginning did you? Well thats alright. Just as long as the story plays through, and it'll be fine. Laying back with heavy breathing the predetor just left her presence. Now left with different thoughts that aquiesce in only her prescence. Shared by a single divine line that follows the edges of the wall thats been scratched by her nails during the act of defication. One long sigh that started during 1st grade but didn't end till graduation.

    Always was the typical spiritual, never hurting a soul. Rolling over while her father rolled on her backhands with the left hand and punches to the back. He died eventually of a murdercase unsolved due to lack of protection while he was sleeping. Its okay, she knew how to fight back. And with vegence she took on a different form. As a grown women guilty of her crimes. Letting her be the victim but then slowly killing them before they came. The predetor just left her prescence, but in a spiritual sense.
    Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
    5:20 pm
    for
    I pray to a God I met in my past.
    To the one whose supposed to be in control.
    Or to have at least enough of it
    to think that it does.
    Moving on.
    I pray for those who didn't know,
    haven't known,
    will not know,
    how bad things went from
    could've been
    to did.

    I hope for some kind of future that
    doesn't involve apocolyptic signs,
    controversy through representation,
    and the use of propaganda
    by people, using, other people.
    Where the unmarked mausoleums
    found on infestested streets.
    not infested with disease
    but with boats, animals, helpers.
    and misunderstanding.
    Cause Water could never break down
    the memories, the events,
    the seperate lives that people have lived
    before any thing was ever known.

    I remember and still do.
    Couple of months from now the near-reality
    shows will start again
    the crazy sitcoms
    the rival disputes about whos cool
    and whos cooler.
    the ridiculous bliss lived by
    those who train to be ignorant.
    the regular life.Heck,
    I'm still trying to get over the tsunami.
    What?
About LiveJournal.com